I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
