I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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