I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When are your genitals available?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
