What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My ass is underappreciated
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
