Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
