remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
