I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
