Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My bed smells like the plague
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
