I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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