He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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