Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
