I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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