I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
