where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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