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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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• (805): View more from California

  It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  trapped on the roof of the strip club. help

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  ...yet.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

  (214): View more from Texas

  That's our motto every night.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

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• (858): View more from California

  I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love

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• (716): View more from New York

  The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?

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• (661): View more from California

  Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?

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