Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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  (732): so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking http://tfl.nu/oxvr
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (1775)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"

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  (516): The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse" http://tfl.nu/y3e0
  Replies (10) Good night (5065) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!

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  (770): A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES! http://tfl.nu/kktf
  Replies (21) Good night (4317) Bad night (786)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.

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  (856): this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes. http://tfl.nu/955p
  Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (3173) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.

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  (973): random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question. http://tfl.nu/ra0q
  Replies (17) Good night (6155) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends

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  (847): u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends http://tfl.nu/ywa9
  Replies (14) Good night (4217) Bad night (1809) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.

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  (828): I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm. http://tfl.nu/jyta
  Replies (19) Good night (670) Bad night (4443) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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  (505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a
  Replies (5) Good night (2521) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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  (610): He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house. http://tfl.nu/tthj
  Replies (3) Good night (1744) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line

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  (516): I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/kwv6
  Replies (10) Good night (742) Bad night (2957) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor

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  (708): seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor http://tfl.nu/2ux6
  Replies (9) Good night (759) Bad night (2301) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection

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  (530): Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection http://tfl.nu/e8qx
  Replies (24) Good night (894) Bad night (5490) Order T-Shirt
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.

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  (830): Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it. http://tfl.nu/ngu5
  Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I come from her. Holy hell.

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  (404): After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now" (404): I come from her. Holy hell. http://tfl.nu/sgm7
  Replies (13) Good night (2901) Bad night (335)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.

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  (443): 6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego. http://tfl.nu/2reg
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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