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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  That is so sad.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I need to calm my uterus...

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