Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

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  (828): everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard. http://tfl.nu/9kw6
  Replies (7) Good night (2561) Bad night (1050)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.

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  (407): Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock. http://tfl.nu/0ypw
  Replies (11) Good night (3733) Bad night (1522)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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  (601): He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows. http://tfl.nu/pp93
  Replies (15) Good night (7087) Bad night (2115)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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  (940): I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too. http://tfl.nu/vi8f
  Replies (41) Good night (1550) Bad night (8158)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now

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  (+44): I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now http://tfl.nu/a890
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (638)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude. im stealing that.

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  (443): i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS! (410): dude. im stealing that. http://tfl.nu/qlpb
  Replies (12) Good night (3654) Bad night (1059)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.

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  (434): You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/0jb8
  Replies (10) Good night (1207) Bad night (540)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.

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  (740): We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well. http://tfl.nu/ojjo
  Replies (5) Good night (1367) Bad night (522)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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  (321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (1077)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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  (215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (658)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...

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  (425): The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious... http://tfl.nu/0tkk
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (360)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.

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  (516): I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams. http://tfl.nu/a235
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.

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  (541): If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience. http://tfl.nu/ojxm
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You're such a Yankee.

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  (401): He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable. (508): You're such a Yankee. http://tfl.nu/y54r
  Replies (0) Good night (786) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??

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  (647): yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network?? http://tfl.nu/1o9j
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (446)

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