I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
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Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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