i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Randomize
