I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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