i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
