i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
