I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We left an ass print on the piano.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
