My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
