Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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