He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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