I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
