he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
