Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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