My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize