We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
