Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
