He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize