he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
