porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
