i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ttyl tear gas
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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