I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
