I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
