the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
