he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
