In the future we'll all be gay
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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