Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
