Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
