it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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