ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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