hotel room ftw
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
