he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
