Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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