im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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