i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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