I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
