I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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