I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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