I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
