i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
