oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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