I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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