out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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