Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
