normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
