college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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