So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
