Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
