dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
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DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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