I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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