you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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