just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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