we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
