I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
