every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
