I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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