are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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