How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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