i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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