I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
