MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My life is pants optional.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
