You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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