at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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