I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
